Fifth offender: The Nicorette Gag Break

Picture the scene. 

Two lads outside the pub. It's dark. 

Like real men, they're nicely oiled up after a night on the foreign lager.

The smoking zone, where the fellas are hanging out, is fertile ground for banter.

Except - with the help of Nicorette, of course - they've kicked the habit.

Quite why they're standing there, then, is anyone's guess.

But they're bantering their hearts out. 

Well done Nicorette: with gags like this, they're the sort of men we all aspire to be.

"I caught up with an old girlfriend the other day," lad one guffaws.

"I knew she'd slow down eventually!"

So there you have it. Use Nicorette - and sound like a rapist.

Another dismal effort from ad land.

Fourth offender: IT firm Civica

Banter. The pinnacle of lad chat.

Witty, clever and cutting. Jovial remarks about spouses, attire and footy all qualify.

So what could the comedians at IT hotshots Civica muster about ex-manager Vinod Rajdev?

Come on, Civica. This one's an open goal. 

It must have been his glasses? No.

His terrible cheap suit? Er, No.

Oh dear. The poorly executed Windsor knot, perhaps? Sadly not.

Overlooking his obvious material shortcomings, Vinod's hilarious pals just dubbed him "Osama Bin Laden".

The jokers even doctored up pictures of them sitting in a cave together.

(Which means, strictly speaking, they should have been calling him Ayman al-Zawahiri – but that's a confusing insult regardless of how well you know Al-Qaeda's leadership structure.)

And when Vinod tried to sue? That's right: "It was just office banter.

"He even joined in jokes that he was an Al-Qaeda leader."

So that's alright then.